Hey I’m finally back….Had to get past one of those pesky sexual harassment cases. Nothing to worry about the jury took one look at me and realized that any nurse would be lucky to have me even speak to them let alone smack their ass….and how can you argue with the Mad Men Monday. Now on to answering your questions…

This question comes from Highlander
Yo Doc,

Recently I started using one of those colon cleansing products…

Was it the one I prescribed….have you used it daily?

and well, by ass hurts.

Tell Quagmire to take the next week or so off.

bottom line, no one can ever say I am full of shit. :-)

Well it has been rumored, but it’s good to hear….

That said, I can't sit down which by the way, helps force me not to take baths so I am doing showers now. I may try some soap soon.

Finally...you will no longer look like pig pen from the Peanuts Cartoons. It may be good to soak your ass in some water, but avoid pools….it becomes expensive to drain and refill after each visit.

I was wondering if you wanted to setup an appointment to come check out my ass?
Seriously, I think it needs your expert touch.

Please get back to me quickly.
Thank you

Well I am an expert in ass…in fact at a recent conference I was called an ass many times….I guess everyone just knows about my skills. Please speak to the receptionist about scheduling an appointment and give two week to order some welding gloves.

This response come from a Quagmire

I want to thank you for the wonderful service you performed on me. Your receptionist said you'd like to see me daily but I don’t think that will be possible. Don’t call me, I'll call you. BTW. The top of your head looks as if your hair might be thinning out a bit.


Its always great to get responses like this to my services. I was gentle, sweet and made you feel special…I know it is a gift. I’ll be waiting for that call (wink wink, nudge nudge)

Oh and my hair....Full and awesome